Sent You To Me Without Wings
by Ashimattack
Summary: you all say you want to become human, but why would you want to become something so flawed?


_(yes I know it's terrible but I kinda had to write something...)_

_(;;)_

_I know it sounds terrible, but I'm glad Al isn't human._

_I tell him he is because that's what he likes to hear,_

_But he isn't really human, not underneath it all._

_Humans are vile ugly creatures, they are selfish liars and care only for themselves._

_Al is more than that, he's free from sin_

_(;;)_

It was a warm February morning when Alphonse found himself free from his teacher, free from training, free to find his brother and free to travel wherever he liked. He contemplated returning to Risenbool to visit Winry but decided against it and henceforth found himself in the small country town of Lariat.

He had camped out the night before and was taking a walk through the busy main streets, looking for something to do. There wasn't any particular reason for him to be in such a small town, but he had always enjoyed slowing down and observing the daily life from an outsiders perspective, unlike Ed who was more of a; 'storm in, destroy something, ask questions later' kind of person.

Just looking through windows he was instantly transfixed by a large display in one of the windows.

'_The Lariat Chocolate Shop' _a large sign above the display read.

Staring at the delicious treats reminded him of when he was younger, when he and Edward would sit around on hot days and lick the melting chocolate from their fingers.

This reminded him that he ought to be moving on until a thought brought him back.

'_Would Edward not want him to enjoy himself a little? Surely he wouldn't want him to be searching for him nonstop. He would think that he deserved a little down time... and it wasn't as if the chocolate was expensive, or if money was a problem'_

So –glancing from side just in case- Alphonse entered the sweet filled shop.

He was amazed when he did; the inside was even more beautiful than the outside! Rows and rows of chocolates, lollies and nameless joys lit his eyes as he stared in wonder.

'Can I help you?' a female voice asked from beside him.

'Ohum _yes _but what is your chocolate and..?' Alphonse was confused and embarrassed at being broken from his stupor. The shop assistant just laughed.

'You'd think you'd never been inside a chocolate shop before!' she said with a smile. Quite a pretty smile, Alphonse noted.

He smiled back shyly; she didn't really _need_ to know that was the truth...

'So,' she asked chirpily 'what was it you were looking for today sir?'

'Oh well I was just passing through and saw your chocolate display in the window and...'

'Ha! That get's everyone, don't worry about it. Set it up myself! So how about I show you our range?'

'That would be... lovely. Thanks'

She led him towards an entire shelf filled with heaps of different brands of chocolate. Alphonse simply stood there, stunned. There appeared to be every single kind of chocolate right before his very eyes.

'Wow' he uttered.

'Yeah, I guess it's pretty impressive. Any particular brand you were in search of?'

'Well no it's just... wow. Which one's the best?'

'Well that is all a matter of opinion but personally I like this one' she picked up a small gold parcel from the middle shelf, 'it's not the most expensive but it is quite good'

'Wow, I guess you really know your stuff' remarked Alphonse, clearly impressed. 'okay I think I'll grab... four? Yeah that should do it'

'Four? Planning on keeping it for a while...'

'Well I'm on the move a lot and you never know which towns will have good chocolate... also my brother eats like a...' he caught himself. 'Sorry. Two should be fine; I'm not that much of a glutton.'

She seemed to realize she'd upset him.

'I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to make a crack at you! I never should have asked I'll just go ahead and...'

'No don't worry about it' Alphonse said with a smile 'Actually on third thought, I will get four. Maybe you'd like to join me when you get off shift..? Oh wait... I'm sure the last thing you'd want to do is go eat more chocolate with some random stranger...'

'No! It'd be great' she said with a smile 'I get off in ten minutes. I'll meet you outside'

(;;)

In the end, Alphonse's short visit to Lariat lasted for six months and he decided that he had never been happier.

Even his younger years in Risenbool paled in comparison to how great it was.

He stopped everything, his travels, his searching, his desperation. He put everything on hold for her and did not regret a single thing.

He knew he should have been searching for his brother, should have returned to his life long ago instead of hiding in the fairytale. But for the life of him he couldn't bring himself to be anywhere that wasn't beside her, she made him so unbelievably _happy_ and he couldn't remember feeling that before. Not even when he was with Edward.

They walked through the crowded streets, hand in hand, smiling and laughing and everything was so _brilliant _and _safe _and normal. When he was with her he didn't have to be 'Alphonse Elric, youngest of the Elric brothers. Younger sibling of the _Fullmetal Alchemist _with no remaining relatives', not here. Not when he was holding her in a tight embrace, or laughing at some stupid pigeon. No, here he simply got to be Al, a blonde kid in a red cloak who had the prettiest girl in the world –or at least he thought so- and the only thing he had to worry about was the jealously of other guys.

He saw them watching him with their green eyes and allowed himself to think, _ha! She's mine! You lose and I finally get to win!' _for the first time in his life he was under the public eye and dammit he loved every minute of it.

With what she earned from the chocolate shop and the money he got from performing random acts of alchemy, they managed to live comfortably.

'Al, guess what!' she burst into their apartment with a grin.

'What is it?' he asked

'I got it! I won!' she held up the trophy that said '_best chocolate cake' _with a beam in her smile.

'Congratulations! I knew you'd win!' he said as he embraced her tightly and felt extremely proud of her. He hoped that life could remain the way it was now forever.

(;;)

After his third month in Lariat he was practising his alchemy in a nearby forest whilst waiting until lunch time, when he would be meeting her in a nice restaurant for her lunch break.

He has gotten a little rusty during his time in Lariat, as his only chance to practise was on street corners doing simple tricks to impress the pedestrians and sometimes to help someone fix a precious item. Just simple stuff that took no skill and could be done with things he found lying around.

He wanted to continue improving as he knew that one day he would have to return to his journey and find Ed. This was but one small part of the big picture that was his life and he knew that he would eventually finish painting this section and move onto another.

But lately he had found himself wondering if the big picture of his life that he could see so clearly, was maybe just a smaller section of a bigger picture that was her smile.

There was some rustling in a bush nearby and he instantly fell into a fighting stance.

But sadly he was caught off guard as a fox leapt out from a bush on the other side of him.

'_Damn' _he thought as he lay there, sprawled on the ground with the fox above him '_glad Ed wasn't here to see that...'_

He managed the heave the fox away from him just as it nicked him with it's teeth.

'_Dang! That really hurt!'_

He judged the distance between him and the fox -no sorry, _two _foxes the other one had emerged from the bush- and decided to try spear tackling them.

He bolted forwards and managed to scare them off before hitting the ground headfirst. Hard.

He woke up slightly confused and noticed it has gotten cooler, checking his watch he realized with a start that he must have been knocked out and that he was now late for his date.

Running all the way he managed to make it to the restaurant in ten minutes, he was half an hour late and was about to rush in apologising when he noticed her. She was sitting at a table with another guy opposite her.

'_What the hell? I'm like half an hour late so he decides to move in on my turf? What a prick!'_

He stormed in and marched right up to the guy.

'Excuse me sir but what do you think you are doing with my girlfriend?'

'Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize. I just saw her here alone and thought...'

'Yeah well you thought wrong. Back off buddy, she's mine.'

'Dude you sound like a jealous loser who screwed up and lost his place...'

'I'll show you a jealous loser you freaking cretin!' growled Alphonse

'Guys guys! Calm down!' she stood up between them and turned to the other guy 'I think you should go.' She then turned to Al.

'Okay before I ask why the hell you are so late I'm going to have to ask you, what was up with that?'

'That guy was bothering you!'

'Well he wasn't but... dude! You totally went badass on him!'

'Did it impress you?'

'Well I guess it did a little...' she admitted 'but he really was only being friendly...'

'Well then maybe next time he should know what he is dealing with when he tries to mess with my girl'

'You sound so envious when you say it like that, it's not like he was going to get anywhere...'

'That may be the case but I'd rather have all of you thank you very much' he said with a sense of finality before leaning forwards and capturing her lips with his own 'now let's eat I'm starving! Getting attacked by wild foxes really works up an appetite!'

She just rolled her eyes.

(;;)

Lying on his back in the middle of the central park of a random city three towns over from Lariat, Alphonse felt despair.

He had reluctantly run away from her the night before. It wasn't as if he had wanted to leave but reality had dawned on him in the form of a lead on Edward and he knew he had to leave.

But the lead turned out to be fake and now the full weight of everything bore down on him like he was carrying every piece of his broken life around in a backpack.

He had awoken from his dreamland.

He had run away from her.

His only lead on his brother failed.

He was back where he started.

The idea of restarting made him want to cry so he just lay there lazily in the middle of the park.

'Alphonse?' came her frantic voice 'oh Alphonse! I've been looking for you everywhere! I asked someone in the next town and they said someone had told them a guy with your description had been lying in the middle of the park for 6 hours now! What happened? Did you fall? Why did you run away? I've been worried sick!'

He spared her no glance and continued to stare at the night sky, things could never return to how they had been. The spell was broken and could not be recast.

'Alphonse, please speak to me. Did I do something wrong?'

Her words triggered something in his memory, back when he was a child always afraid.

'_I'm sorry mum... please. Ed, was it my fault? Was it? If it was, you can tell me. I can handle it...'_

Her repeating his words only made him more tired.

'_No Al, of course it isn't your fault. Don't worry'_

The words had brought him no comfort just like he knew speaking now wouldn't ease her guilt, so he stayed silent and continued gazing at the stars.

'Alphonse... please'

At this he spared her a glance and found what he saw pathetic. Grovelling beside him, clutching his hand tightly, as though it was her only lifeline.

'_That's me' _he thought bitterly '_that's me'_

'You... you mentioned a brother. Is that... Is that why...' she could barely speak 'is that why you left? Was it something to do with him? Please don't leave me'

'I never said I had a brother' he said coldly.

'Yes... yes you did!' she was yelling now, desperately screaming, praying for answers.

'No I did not!' they were both yelling now and it hurt his ears. The words hurt his heart and it only made him more tired.

'If... If it is about him. Please tell me. Please talk to me instead of running away with no goodbye, not even a lousy note! Tell me what is wrong!'

'Nothing is wrong! Why can't you just leave it? It has nothing to do with you so just drop it!'

Her breathing slowed as his followed suit, he remained lying there, exhaustion stopping his breath.

She stood silently, eyes heavy from unwiped tears and walked away.

After she left he gave into his body and fell asleep. When he awoke he found himself lying underneath a large blanket with her beside him, cheeks stained from fresh tears and not enough strength to leave him.

(;;)

'So the other day this woman walks in with her little dog and asks for some chocolate. I tell her that she isn't allowed to bring pets in and she's all like '_My little Poochy is as well trained as the next little brat and I'll ask you not to disrespect my baby!' _And I'm just like...' Alphonse quickly lost interest in whatever she was talking about and glanced around the venue.

It was a small cafe in down town Lariat that was quite empty except for a few couples and a group of girls in the booth opposite them. One of them kept catching his eye even though he was obviously on a date and to be honest he found this quite sexy and appealing.

It was just two weeks after the incident and the magic spell just wasn't quite right and not everything was the same as before.

'So then she's all like '_well as I said he is well trained and would not even think of eating anything from your lousy shop! And that rubbish about his safety, although I wouldn't put it past a shop like _this _to not be safe to eat the product...' _so by now I'm pretty much furious and...' she stopped talking as she noticed his apparent lack of interest.

Just fourteen days after that fateful night and she was desperately clinging to whatever they had, the only thing she really wanted was for life to return to how it had been. When everyone had been happy and he smiled at her with those eyes...

But she felt her heart crumbling as she watched him flicker those eyes towards another girl while completely ignoring the one sitting across from him. The one who had held him close after a nightmare and then one kissed him passionately when his tears wouldn't stop.

He noticed she had stopped speaking and glanced back towards her. She was looking down with a sad look on her face and he wished it was as easy as alchemy to fix the millions of tiny fallen fragments of her broken heart that surrounded him.

'Keep talking, I was listening don't worry' he said in a low voice.

'_No you weren't' _she said in her mind. On the outside she stayed quiet.

It hurt to think of it but he knew that the pieces would be sharp. He didn't know if he could be strong enough to hold them without cutting his hands. One look at her downcast eyes told him _no_ so he found himself looking back towards the other girl.

And barely missing seeing a single tear role down her cheek before falling to the floor with the rest of his love.

(;;)

'I can't believe you would humiliate me like that! In front of everyone!'

'How did I humiliate you?'

'Oh I don't know, something along the lines of 'nah she's already gained a bit lately, from all that chocolate cake she's been eating' now how would that not offend me?'

'Well you can't deny that you have been eating a lot of it lately... and she mentioned it before I did!'

'No, all she asked was if we were thinking of getting married or having any children soon! How does that allow you to have a crack at my weight? And I'm amazed you've even noticed that I've gained weight, you haven't even looked at me properly for three days! Why do you think I've been eating so much frigging cake?'

'Well excuse me for not wanting to get married or anything! And besides, you know nothing like that will most likely ever happen because I will eventually have to leave. No matter how long I stay here I'll still have to keep searching for my brother! He's the most important person to me!' he knew even as he said it that it wasn't true but the feeling of wrath was so overpowering that it took over all of his senses and severely affected his judgement.

'Oh, is he now?' she asked, her voice rising 'this so called brother that you won't even tell me about? The brother you never speak about is the most important to you? The same brother that left you searching while he ran off to wherever the hell he is? The brother that you haven't spoken to for at least six months is more important to you than the girl who loves you with everything she has even though you are a complete wreck who can't even remember her name?**'**

'Don't you dare talk like that about my brother!'

'Well at least someone is talking about him! If you love him so much why don't you just leave?'

'I already tried! But the stupid girl who says she _loves _me stopped me from going! Said it was for my own good and kept me here for her own selfish reasons! You don't love me! You don't love anybody, you only love yourself and it would be completely fitting for you if you died alone right now!' he slammed the door behind him before she could even reply.

It didn't surprise him when he came back later to find her lying on the floor in the middle of the room, a pool of her own blood around her and a single note with the words '_I'm sorry I was holding you back.'_ beside her.

The funeral was a small ceremony held in the town chapel, not that he'd know.

He'd already left town.

(;;)

Al was sitting on a bench in the park, soaking wet.

He'd been sitting there for two hours, ever since he'd run away from Ed.

He had last seen her four years ago and it had been three years since he had finally reunited with Edward.

Before it started raining the park had been crawling with kids, when the rain started he had watched them all go home with their parents.

Now all that remained was a single twenty year old man with sad blue eyes and matted blonde hair.

'Alphonse, what are you doing? You are soaking wet! Look I didn't mean to pressure you before! You don't have to tell me anything.'

Their earlier conversation crept into his memory.

'_How come you never tell me what happened while I was gone? I told you about Noah. Why can't you tell me? Did you meet anyone? A girl perhaps?'_

'_What do you mean?' Al was flustered; he had tried not to think of her_

'_So I was right! There __**is**__ someone! Or... __**was **__someone, wait you didn't dump her did you? Or...OH! She dumped you! Tough break kid but love does hurt...'_

'_Shut up! You know nothing!' he then stormed out the door, just like he had so many times before._

Al stayed silent now; he didn't want to acknowledge that Ed was there, in his mind that would confirm that he was all he had left.

'Alphonse? Whatever I did to upset you, I didn't mean it okay?'

'_Alphonse, please speak to me. Did I do something wrong?'_

'Alphonse, answer me dammit! ...please'

'_Alphonse... please'_

'Don't plead with me. It makes you sound pathetic. You sound like her'

'What? Who do I sound like Alphonse? Tell me.'

'No! Stop it! Don't repeat her words. I know I deserve it but I don't think I could take it...'

'Please tell me about her Alphonse'

'I loved her Ed. I loved her so much that it hurt. But love like that... I can't handle it I screwed up. And now she's dead, I killed her Ed. It's my fault she's gone' there were tears in his eyes.

'Al... No... You couldn't kill anyone. You're incapable of it you're...'

'No! Ed! You don't get it! I drove her to her suicide! It's entirely my fault but even then, even though I know it's only me being greedy I still want her. I want to hold her once more and tell her I'm sorry. I should've said I was sorry! She did! And now I'll never have a chance to'

'Al...'

'No! Don't talk. I don't want to hear it. I don't deserve any comfort, not after what I did.'

Al stayed silent; the sound of the pouring rain barely disguised his sobs.

He thought he was over it.

Thought it didn't affect him.

But if it didn't affect him, why had he blanked out her face?

How had he forgotten her name?

(;;)

_I stopped trying to comfort him and instead let the rain mask my tears_

_I hadn't cried in years but the thought of Al being anything but perfect ruins me inside._

_Alphonse is human._

_And so am I._

_And maybe that's where our problems really started_


End file.
